At the behest of PopJustice, I watched the video for Hot Chip’s “I Feel Better” and it ended up being the most PSYCHOTIC BUT AMAZING THING EVER. Seriously.
Think it’s just some boyband video? So did I. They have vacuous names like Mar’Vane and Octavane, introduced in typical, fans-blowing-shiny-vests back and brooding vapidly at the camera fashion (*JLSCOUGH*). They can’t dance, and it’s a really boring video — singing on stage surrounded by screaming girls, really? Then a falsetto, pedo-creepy zen master who looks like Moby emerges, challenges the boyband to a dance-off, AND ZOMG TURNS INTO A DALEK! EXTERMINATE! They come back as his zombie boyband back-up dancers, and then a floating Wizard of Oz-like head of some black guy comes in and kills everyone.
MIND? BLOWN.
Just watch. It’s crazy.
WIN.
And OF COURSE, this is the Hot Chip who DJed with Little Boots and have produced some of her remixes. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.
Holy Moly! I am nearly a week off of Your Country Needs You! Not recommended the week of the UK song decision: a four day business trip to Los Angeles, followed by two days of recovering from jet lag. SO NOT condusive to TV watching!
This year was a hot mess, crossed with a snooze fest
BUT ANYWAY! It’s finally here! The UK’s deciding night — six acts will compete to perform a pop song written by Pete Waterman at this year’s Eurovision. After what we’ve seen so far from competitor countries, the UK could actually have another strong year, if the song and act are right. So come on, UK, impress us.
They start the night out right, with a medley of Pete Waterman’s “greatest hits”: Kylie (YES), Rick Astley (YESSSS), Steps (I’m sorry, but YESSSSS), Westlife (shameful yesssss), etc. etc. Sorry for the suspense, kiddos, but, we’re not going to hear the proffered song right off — the six acts will be performing Waterman classics, like a painful cover night on American Idol.
Our “panel” of judges is lacklustre: Jade Ewan, last year’s winner and current Sugababe, and some guy named Bruno that I’m afraid I don’t know off the top of my head. Usually the BBC lays it on thick, but tonight they gloss right over who the hell he is. But he is clearly gay and fabulous, so that’s allright by me. (srsly, guys, who is he… bad editor!)
Graham stalls over something (maybe an explanation of the night’s format? SOMETHING?), and throws us right into the first performance.
First up: Karen, who is 18 and from Newcastle. When she was 16, she won a local singing competition and beat some guy who ended up on X-Factor (um, ok?). She’s doing Kylie’s “What Do I Have To Do?”
She’s ok, though ocassionally her ’styling’ reads as flat. Karen clearly has a solid voice and she’s fairly cute, but it’s nothing particularly special.
Graham finally clarifies: the six acts will each sing a “classic,” then Pete will pick the top three to sing the specific Eurovision song, and the public will vote on that. Jade delivers useless comments about her bravery and tone, and then Bruno, whoever the hell he is, actually hits the nail on the head about her needing to be a bit punchier.
Alexis, 20 from Kent is, surprisingly, a man. He’s cute, and talks about a brief stint playing footy, to try and convince the ladies at home that he’s not gay. Then he sucks up to Pete in his video. Nice touch.
Generally, I think Mika is what you would get if you injected a castrato with coke and then made them record a pop record, aka: gay and fabulous and disco and clubby. But also kind of freaky and scary, like a gay-disco-zombie that’s going to eat your brains. Or something. He got old FAST after listening to Grace Kelley and Love Today like 8 million times. I had forgotten all about him, until now….
Mix Mika with Gaga’s producer RedOne? PURE AWESOME AMAZING GAY DISCO CLUBBY WINNNNNNNNN. I’m obsessed. Listening on repeat. Dancing by myself, in my seat, alone at home on St. Paddy’s Day. (so sad but SO FABULOUS)
And, of course, totally jazzed for the movie now. NOT THAT SUBLIMINAL ADVERTISING HAS DONE IT’S JOB.
A new Lost, entitled Dr. Linus for its titular character — Ben, who in Bizarro World is not only a high school European History teacher, but an unfulfilled PhD-holding European History teacher! His hair is dorkily brushed forward, and he’s really awkward, in his brown cardigan-wearing glory. He’s actually not a bad teacher, though it’s an irony-filled lesson about Napolean. Ben and Artz are friends. Epic.
TV principal douche stand-in orders Ben to cancel History Club to supervise detention and we find out some key Bizarro World information: the Dharma Iniative (and the Island) happened, but Ben and his dad migrated back to the mainland, Ben got a PhD and he and his formerly douchey dad seem to be on pretty good terms. Lo and behold, who should come a’knocking at their door? Student!Alex, who looks up to Dr. Linus eagerly… how we’re meant to believe that a year or two of teaching her in high school could equate the same emotional connection they have on the Island is beyond me. But it’s all suspension of disbelief. It’s sweet.
In a study session, Alex tells Ben a piece of hot gossip — the school nurse is hooking up with the principal. Ben forms an alliance with Artz, who is apparently also a computer hacker (um, that’s convenient), to access sordid emails and blackmail the principal into resigning. The plan is that Ben will take his place, and rule with an iron fist. Bwahahahahahha.
Back on the Island, Ben reunites with the renegade crew, where Ilana finally does what she should have done, oh, six episodes ago and asks Miles to “read” Jacob’s ashes and ask how he died. Of course, he tells her that Ben did it, to which she replies ominously “Jacob was the closest thing I had to a father.” WATCH OUT, BEN SHE’S GONNA KIL–
Or just give you the Silent Treatment. Just as deadly, really. They scavenge the old Oceanic camp, and Ilana tells Sun that she — or Jin — are one of six remaining candidate. For what? “They’ll find out.” THANKS FOR BEING SO CLEAR ABOUT THAT, LOST.
Ilana hauls Ben to the graveyard, chains him to a tree (with the ole’, trusty Oceanic plane wires, which never seem to bloody run out) and orders him to dig his own grave. How macabre.
Meanwhile, on the Jack & Hurley show, Hurley tries to keep Jack from going back to the Temple, and Jack does everything he can to get back to the Temple. Comedic gold. Richard pops up and says “no, THIS is the way to the Black Rock, I mean,Temple.” Once there (the Black Rock, that is), Richard tells Jack and Hurley that he hasn’t been there in a long time, and that’s he’s come there to die. Finally, super, duper final confirmation that Richard is from the Black Rock. I can die happy.
Inside, Richard tries to explain. “Jacob touched me. When Jacob touches you, it’s considered a gift.” GUYS, I THINK JACOB IS PEDOBEAR. Read the rest of this entry »
OMG GUYS. SOPHIE’S NEW SINGLE HAS DROPPED. OMG. PopJustice has made it Song of the Day, and blogged flailingly about it’s severe awesomeness, and there is a radio rip of it on YouTube.
LISTEN TO THIS. SO GOOD. Featuring the Freemasons, much like her last fanf*ckingtabulous single, Heartbreak Make Me a Dancer.
No release date yet (*SOB*), but it has to come soon… right?
IN LOVE. Sophie was filming the video this weekend (and it apparently involves hula hooping in high heels?), so that should come out soon HALLELUJAH. SOPHIE, IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG. New album this summer: SO HAPPY.
Sopho Nizharadze will be singing Georgia's entry, Shine
Some six weeks ago, Georgia announced that Sopho Nizharadze would be representing them at Eurovision, but the song wasn’t revealed until last week. Georgia has perhaps the most interesting of track records at Eurovision, having only been in the contest since 2007 yet experiencing much controversy in that time. My first Eurovision extravaganza in 2007 was also their first, and their quirky entry “Visionary Dream” was one of my favorites of the year. In 2008, they were notable for sending a blind woman to sing “Peace Will Come,” which then became incredibly ironic that summer when Russia, that year’s winner (and next host), invaded. Georgia got into hot water with the Eurovision committee and was forced to withdraw when they elected disco-dance song “We Don’t Want to Put In” for their 2009 entry. It was disqualified for being too political, against Eurovision rules, and Georgia did not attend or represent themselves at the Russian-held final.
They’ve done well by themselves this year, picking by far the best singer so far, Sopho Nizharadze, who has a good number of YouTube clips showcasing her talents. She is something of a Georgia gem, and is performing to her strength, singing the ballad Shine in Oslo. But here’s the problem: the live clip of her singing the song just isn’t very good. Her voice is whispy and weak, and the lyrics don’t quite come through. You can hear hints of a good song in there somewhere, but it’s a bad performance. The trick with Eurovision is that it can’t just be a good song — it has to be performed well (see “Lose Control” by Finland last year and “Disappear” by the No Angels in 2008 — decent songs, bad performances, null punkt!). Watch the live clip vs. the studio produced single (which is very good). I suspect it’s just bad tech at the Georgian showcase, but only Sopho’s performance at the semi-finals will tell. Hopefully she gets rid of the creepy guys doing jazz hands…
Live
Single
Plus here’s some bonus Georgia. Under the jump, Visionary Dream, Peace Will Come and the ousted entry We Don’t Want to Put In…
Two weeks ago, I was given a great responsibility: an Amish Friendship Bread starter. It is the baking cousin to the chain letter, passed from friend to friend under the onus of the Amish and friendly obligation. One is given a “starter” bag of sourdough yeast, plus a set of instructions that cover a ten day cycle — mush the bag, feed the yeast with milk, sugar and flour and in a week and a half bake two loaves of cinnamon bread, setting aside several bags of your own starter to hand on to friends. If you give away all the starter, the instructions say, you will have to get another bag from a friend, for only the Amish know how to make a starter…
It’s all bullshit, of course. Amish Friendship Bread isn’t strictly Amish, and there’s not that much mystery to the “starter” — anyone who can Google and follow a simple recipe can recreate the recipe’s base. But it’s fun to play along, and produces delicious cinnamon bread ten days after receipt (after much mushing).
I’ll be honest: I did not mush the bag for the first three days. I kind of forgot about it, until a slightly putrid smell from the corner of my kitchen reminded me of my task. (warning: as it has a sourdough base, it can smell a bit rank) Then I mushed the bag (on the fourth day), added milk, sugar and flour on the fifth, and then dutifully mushed from there on out. However, I committed another faux paux: I did not bake the bread on the tenth day. OMG I KNOW, I BROKE THE CHAIN. Not quite. Some quick internet research put my mind at ease — I wouldn’t die of some horrible gone-bad yeast disease if I waited an extra two days. I baked the bread on Saturday (warning: it can get messy), and produced one loaf of yummy bread and a tray of cute little muffins. Note on muffins: do not bake an hour. They need between 35-45 minutes, instead.
Now I’m stuck with three bags of starter, unsure who to saddle them with. While baking (and mushing) Amish friendship bread was fun, it was also one big, painful obligation — mushing once a day, plus trudging out to the grocery store to buy extra ingredients (namely instant pudding and baking powder). I pushed the time window an extra two days, and that was close — the additional frustration is that you are locked into a given timeline based on when you’re given the bread. What if you don’t have *time* to bake on a Thursday? Or you’re out of town in ten days? Some too-late Googling told me that I could have refrigerated it a few days to stave off the process, or even frozen it to halt it altogether (you can pick up the ten day process where you left off upon thawing). That’s good to know. Now. (I have a bag in my freezer for a rainy day)
I am sharing my story just so people know that you can come out with a perfectly nice loaf of bread, even if you don’t dutifully mush, or follow an exact schedule. For posterity, here are the instructions/recipe for Cinnamon Amish friendship bread as I received them (wording modified slightly). It’s very yummy. Just kind of more of a commitment than this 26-year-old was ready to make… (kind of like motherhood!)
Super Saturday has meant a ton of new entries from a bunch of countries – Russia, Belgium, Ukraine, Portugal, Moldova… SO MANY.
Russia is going for a retro-folksy-bluesy ballady… thing. This is Peter Nalitch with “Lost and Forgotten”:
Well, Russia, thanks for taking me back three decades. In Soviet Russia, mullet wears you! And is that English? Wow. The chorus is ok, but mullet on the singer and his warbled phrasing are seriously Do Not Want. IS THE GUITAR GUY TALKING TO HIM? HE’S ANSWERING? Null punkt.
Interesting entry from Belgium, who’s never really been on my radar before. They are definitely going for the “guy and his guitar” folksy mold, with a song ironically titled “Me and My Guitar” by Tom Dice:
Not bad, though not a winner.
Oh, Ukraine. I love you. I really do. So it’s ironic that your song this year is called “I Love You” by Vasyl Lazorovich. Do I love this song? I don’t know. But I did love Ukraine’s 2007 & 2008 entries — they were my #1 favorites — so it’s good to see them recover from last year’s forgettable whore-pop ditty.
In America, it's nearly impossible to fire a bad teacher, even with cause
Newsweek has published an excellent piece that highlights a thought-provoking issue of modern education: American students consistently rank below most of the world. Why? It’s not the teaching methods/federal programs (New Math, Whole Language, No Child Left Behind, etc. etc.) or the parents (though an attentive parent always helps). It’s the teachers — namely, those who are bad at their job, but never fired.
Newsweek makes an interesting case for it, drawing on statistics about pupil performance falling irrevocably behind after a string of ineffective teachers, coupled with shocking figures on the number of teachers who are fired in a number of states… namely ZERO. And what the article brings up make sense: under-performing teachers aren’t/can’t be fired (thanks, Unions), and are instead moved around to other schools — most often being plopped in the worst schools (read: inner city; minority). It is sad, especially given that the students with the least inherent opportunity (read: money) need strong education the most.
Of course, it’s not a magic bullet — weed out the bad teachers and solve all our problems. Newsweek’s approach is a bit simplistic. America’s education system is wracked with issues — not enough money for gifted programs, art programs; lagging standards of performance (and teachers handing out As and gold stars like candy); No Child Left Behind expecting all students to conform to a (low) mainstream standard; disparity of funding/resources between “good” schools and “bad” schools (middle class vs. poor)… but the problem of teacher performance is a pervasive one, and the statistics are convincing.
The Newsweek piece continues, highlighting a key difference between teachers in the U.S. and Europe: in Europe, being a teacher is something of a status symbol. In Germany, you are considered among the educational elite — good enough to get a very competitive spot at a Gymnasium (college prep high school). In the U.S., with rare exception, that is not the case. The old joke goes “those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.” No wonder the bottom of the barrel seem to gravitate towards our nation’s classrooms. We denigrate the honor of being a teacher (and it is a difficult and vital profession!), and seem to push people who have no other options towards teaching. We seem to forget that education, especially at a young age, is an essential foundation for excellence. Skimp on the teachers, and your kids will become progressively dumber… as they have done in the U.S. over the last few decades.
This past week, Ireland, Turkey and Lithuania chose their entries for Eurovision (among a few others), and I wanted to highlight them before this evening, when “Super Saturday” will give us 5 country decisions all at once (Romania, Moldova, Croatia, Portugal and Ukraine). I am anxiously awaiting Ukraine, as in 2007 & 2008, they were my favorite to win.
In not shocking news, Turkey has picked a pretty good song. They have for three years running, though the win has eluded them. This year’s pick “We Could Be The Same” by MaNga is a rocky tune with elements of traditional Turkish folk music.
I like it. I don’t think it’s a winner, but it will solidly represent Turkey this year.
Lithuania is bringing the lulz this year, with what will surely be a crowd pleaser — InCulto performing “East European Funk.” What do you get with a name like that? This:
It’s East European, it’s funk, there’s kazoos involved and the six members of the group are a hoot to watch, dorkily dancing, legs all akimbo. It’s funny, catchy and will stage well. The words are a hoot, too:
You’ve seen it all before
We ain’t got no taste we’re all a bore
But you should give us chance
Cause we’re just victims of circumstance
We’ve had it pretty tough
But that’s ok, we like it rough
We’ll settle the score
We survived the Reds and two World Wars
Get up and dance to our Eastern European kinda funk!
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