Project Runway 7×04: Red hot dress-messes

9 02 2010

This week the designers made a little red dress for a charity event. Amy's dress (pictured) won.

This week the designers face the now-obligatory worthy cause challenge: design a little red dress for heart disease survivors for a Campbell’s Soup charity event at Fashion Week. Each designer is assigned a woman who has been affected by heart disease in some way, so no models for this one (wonder how that will effect Models of the Runway).

Uh-oh, they’re designing for — gasp! — real women. Countdown to some designer calling their model fat in 3, 2, …

First Jesus says he is glad his model is so tiny. Then Janine mentions their models’ measurements and how a “gala ready gown” will be very hard in a day. But Seth WINS THE PRIZE, by mentioning their usual size 4 models and then punning “this is the largest challenge I’ve had to face.”

When they’re not commenting on their models’ sizes, we see the designers bonding with the women. It’s waterworks for the gays, with Jay and Anthony practically bursting into tears as their models tell their heartwarming (IRONY) stories. Amy says this one should be in the bag: she’ll either win it, or get kicked off, as proclaiming a challenge will be easy is often the kiss of death.

And it’s the gift that keeps on giving, as yet another designer brings up the model’s sizes, the fifth or sixth time in less than sixteen minutes. At least this time it’s Anthony, lightly chiding his fellow designers for never having done so — as a pageant dress designer, presumably he has.

Anna had a great design that was poorly cut and fitted to her model

The 20 minute mark comes and goes, and no “make it work” from Tim. Is the pattern broken? WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT TIM’S SIGNATURE CATCH PHRASE? He did say several variations of work, but most likely I just missed it.

The runway proves that very few of these designers have worked or can work with normal-sized women. Most of the outfits, even by our best designers, make their models look dumpy at worst, or not suited to a formal event, at best.

Amy’s dress was a clear winner from the moment it came out — not only did it flatter the model, but it was very much evening wear. Second best, and the better design, is Maya. The heart design and sash are well thought out and executed, but I don’t think her model’s body type was right for it — a taller model (not necessarily smaller!) would have worked better.

Jesus’s dress is a RED HOT MESS. All due respect to his model, but she looks like a hooker, not a heart disease survivor going to a formal event. They say he “knows how to make clothes,” but I don’t see construction that is good enough to justify keeping Jesus, who has tacky, slutty taste, on the show.

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New Muppets video: Beaker meeps Dust in the Wind, gets ROFLCOPTERed

9 02 2010

Following on the success of other recent music parody videos, including Beaker’s Ode to Joy and November’s Bohemian Rhapsody, the Muppets are back, this time not so much parodying the music, but the medium. Beaker maybe meeping the classic Dust in the Wind, but the LULZ come in the form of the pop-up YouTube comments, replete with netspeak, trolling and rampant misspellings. I loled.





Popstar to Opera Star, episode four: DON’T TAKE THE MIKADO (lol)

9 02 2010

Can the dashing Darius impress the judges and audience this week?

Another week, another episode of Popstar to Opera Star. Now down to five, this week is a big one. We have three popstars who have shown surprising aptitude for opera singing: Darius Campbell, Marcella Detroit and Bernie Nolan, and two popstars who have thus far been lucky to ride along the coattails of being popular with the mainstream British public: Danny Jones of McFly and Kym Marsh formerly of Hear’Say and currently of ITV’s own Coronation Street. Edging ever closer to the semi-finals (top four), then final (top three/two), this week will beg the big question: will the popular vote boot out a worthy singer, or someone whose run is rightfully done?

Before we jump in, amazing opera pun of the night: “really isn’t taking the Mikado.” YES. IT’S AWFUL, BUT YES.

Bernie is up first, performing a “sexy number,” Les Fille De Cadix. The order the producers decide to have the contestants go in is often notable, and I take Bernie’s going first as a vote of confidence — they know viewers will remember her through to the end of the show, and vote for her.

It’s an admirable performance, though the volume (and echo) on Bernie’s mike seems a bit loud. Surely she can project without such an aid. Her “lalalas” are a bit too poppy, but all her other notes, particular the closing ones are excellent. She gets a “chaka chaka” from Rolando and Meatloaf makes a Terminator reference (what?).

Danny is going second, singing Funiculi funicula, an instantly recognizable, oft-sampled tune.

A bit flat, as always, Danny is better than last week, at least. He also gets a major cheat — intentional, I don’t know — drowned out at the end by the orchestra and background singers, so we can’t even tell if he nails the note properly. He gets praise of the judges, and it looks like this week will be a tough one — if no one obviously bombs, it will come down to the vote, and who the judges like better in the bottom two.

Next up, Kym. Her song is Nella Fantasia is a slow, lyrical piece. We get lots of sobbing and heartstring tugging in the lead-in, definite emotional blackmail from the producers.

I’ve said it and I’ll say it again: flat, flat, flat. The acting, however, was good, but Kym consistently sounds like a distressed cat. I also didn’t catch hardly any of the words — diction is not her strong suit.

And dear sweet Lord, everyone is crying. I GIVE UP.

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